As I write this post, there is currently a multi-level marketing scheme being circulated on Twitter. What is multi-level marketing? It’s a scheme to build up ridiculously large numbers of something in a short period of time. Historically, one of the most notable MLM schemes took place a couple decades ago, when people were using the post office and Xeroxed copies of form letters. The letters contained a list of names. You sent $1 to every name on the list, and then removed the last name from the list and added yours to the top. The idea was that if you send this letter to 10 people, and they all send it to 10 people, the result is that in a few weeks, you’re worth a million bucks because like a pyramid, your name gets distributed to exponentially more people.

Of course, the scheme didn’t really work that way, and the few people who made any money doing it were grossly outnumbered by the people who sent out $10 and got nothing in return.  Because of these facts, and the severe taxing of the postal system that these letters caused, Multi Level Marketing, sometimes referred to as “Ponzi” or “Pyramid”  schemes were ruled a federal offense to send through mail. The Government went after and prosecuted the folks that they found, and the schemes slowly dwindled off the postal system.

So, let’ skip the history lesson about how the Internet brought this scheme back to the limelight, and jump straight to yesterday. A gentleman by the name of Gary Mccaffrey released the latest MLM scheme on the internet via a site called TwitterGetter. The site advertises that you can make tens of thousands of new followers by following a mere 6 names (as well as his, which is optional, but highly encouraged). Now, anyone with a modicrum of common sense will smell the fish in this and stay away, but in case you don’t know why to avoid it, here are just a few reasons.

-The only real winner is Mccaffrey. Conveniently enough, hi username is included in every tweet that gets sent out, so no matter how many or few followers you get, he benefits.

-It won’t work. The only way for everyone to win in this would be if there were an infinite, exponentially growing number of twitter followers. Of course, since the laws of science tend to point towards that being impossible, someone gets the short end of the stick.

-Three words: Non Targeted Followers. Okay, no matter what you’re tweeting about, you want to have followers that actually want to read what you write, right? Let’s say, for example only, that you like to tweet about good stuff from the republican party. With Mccaffrey’s system, the law of averages dictates that half of your new followers loathe your political view. That’s just great. Or what if you write about marketing and social media? That’s a niche that very few people out of your new following will ever care about. In short, even you get a bajillion followers, they don’t really care about you!

-You look like a sucker. Fortunately none of my friends have been so dumb as to jump on the twittergetter bandwagon yet, but if any of them do I will immediately try to get them to invest in my next shady business venture.

That’s a non-exhaustive list, and I’m sure there are many more reasons to avoid this scheme, but what I want to touch on is my prediction for what is to come. About 7 hours prior to the publishing of this post, a Twitter user going by esszeeeye sent this message: “@garymccaffrey ,can’t wait to see what you do next.” In response, Mccaffrey states: “@esszeeeye i’ve a few interesting viral things coming soon. weeks away at this stage though“

Given that snippet, here’s my predicton. One of the next innovations (and by innovations I mean thousand year old scams cleverly re-hashed) will involve money. Possibly investing in some of Gary’s prime Florida real estate? At any rate, he’s setting the stage nicely. His program has ensured that his name will be the most tweeted username on Twitter until they pull his plug.  So with everyone seeing his name all over, he’s in a place to really get some attention. I predict that in the coming weeks, if he’s not banned, we’ll see some money making maneuver come from the guy.

Let’s wait and see.

And for my regulars – sory to harp on the subject twice in a row. I swear, I’m done for now. The guy doesn’t need any more publicity.

One person who obviously doesn’t have the same moral dilemma that I face is Gary Mccaffrey. Haven’t heard of him yet? Gary is an Internet marketer, and while I cannot say with any certainty that he has no soul or no conscience, my magic 8 ball says that all signs point in that direction. Recently (12 hours before this post was published) Gary released a new site called tweetergetter (and no, I’m not linking to the site – if you want to see it, you’re smart enough to find it, and hopefully smart enough not to use it). This new site plays off the very old concept called the multi level marketing scheme, or MLM for short. MLM’s in written form are typically illegal, and if the post office learns that you’re taking part in a mail version of one you get slapped with a federal offense.  The reason for this is that these things not only don’t work the way they’re advertised, but usually the only winner in the game is the person who starts the chain.

Gary makes boisterous claims about his new program, that you can get either 15,625 or 19,530 new followers in under a month (he uses both numbers) by simply joining his site and retweeting the message to join the site. When you join, you’re made to follow the six people on the list, and your name goes to the number one slot. The idea is that 5 people see your message, and they tell 5 people, who tell 5 people, etc…

The problem is, this program, like all MLM schemes, might give you a little return, but it’s not going to be a return that you enjoy in the long run. What’s the point of having 20,000 mindless followers that don’t really care what you’ve got to say or who you are? I’ve gone that route, when I was featured on YouTube. I got over 1,000 followers in a couple days (mind you, that was pretty impressive three years ago), and since then, I don’t think any of those people have ever come back to watch my videos twice.

Good marketing requires that you’re “sticky”, that people come to you, get stuck on you, and draw others to come get stuck on you too. When you’ve achieved this stickiness, your marketing force becomes your followers, and you just have to keep the good stuff flowing. Tweetgetter (and other sites that advertise MLM) induce a “fake stickiness”. Sure, maybe 10,000 people MIGHT follow you on twitter, but they don’t even know who you are. They only followed you because they knew the number 1 person on that list, and that person has 5 degrees of separation from you. How far is 5 degrees of separation? It’s far enough that you can connect a loser like me with Kevin Bacon (No really, you can – a movie buff friend of mine figured it out. I was on a National TV show with Kevin Costner, and it’s only like three jumps from him to Bacon). What I’m getting at is that Even if the people who are joining this thing really like that number 1 person, they have no clue who you are. From a marketing standpoint, these followers are useless fluff.

And then, there’s the tax this will create on the system. If you haven’t seen a “Too many tweets” over capacity page on Twitter, you haven’t been there long.  So, let’s take a fragile system and shove several hundred thousand new tweets down it’s throat. Brilliant idea. Plus, twitter only allots so much bandwidth for API usage, which means that if you like tweetdeck or some other api-driven client for twitter, this site is stealing your mojo.

Ultimately, the only winner is Gary, who gets his name retweeted over and over, becoming the most popular guy on retweetradar. Whether you get popular because of this is inconsequential to him. He’s doing this to build up HIS popularity, and you’re a pawn. Congratulations on that.

Here’s my prediction: He will grossly overuse twitter bandwidth, his site will get blacklisted, and everyone in his “system” is screwed, with nothing to show other than a few followers who don’t even care about them. He, on the other hand, gains 15 minutes of fame (or infamy, which is about the same in marketing). All the while, I’ll just plod along on my twitter account, doing what I do. But don’t take my word for it – let’s talk to an expert.

Aaaaaand according to the magic 8 ball, all sources say “yes”.

So, is it true? Do emergency operators really deal with thes people. Watch the video and decide for yourself.

Mystery Guitar Man, a guy who has been on YouTube for as long as I have (though only recently did I make his aquaintence) made this incredible video. If you didn’t see it, just watch:

That’s how I would describe up and coming YouTube musician frankielovestoday. Go check her channel out!

The guy’s awesome. Go subscribe to him!

Be patient with the glitches, and we’ll be up to 100% soon.

Thanks!

Actually, I know exactly what’s up with it. The bottom line is that it’s a story that the media can sensationalize. Really, that’s it. Why is it so amazing?

• Planes rarely crash. It’s a unique story.
• The story has a “hero”. The pilot did a good job landing the plane. Kept it together and everything.
• It was in New York. The last time a plane made the news in New York was 9/11.

I’m sure there are a couple other points, but essentially, that’s it. The news smelled blood, and they pounced.

The honest to goodness truth is that this isn’t really all that amazing a story. If a Charter bus in Kansas carrying 100 passengers on their way smeplace went off the road and crashed, but everyone survived, it probably wouldn’t even make it out of local news, or maybe it would get a 10 second blurb at 10. This is big and sensational, and therefore it’s getting nonstop coverage.

Okay, enough ranting. Hey, a new website is coming soon. Details coming soon.

I specifically wrote it that way so it sunded like a real accomplishment.

Now if you’ll excuse me,  I’m off to go buy a tub of frosting (and maybe a crappy guitar. I need to learn sometime, and ideally before I’m dead.), and then I’m off to party with Martin Luther King Jr.